_________.

nothing nothing nothing
not a
thing
single thing

to tell
                                 me.

empty minds mint the monetrary value of this conversation:

nothing.

                 What's that dear?
nothing.
                            how are you dear?
    fine.

                                                                 forget it
                                                                            it was nothing.

and still you perpetuate
                        something.
                            none, nip, zilch, nada.


no longer wishing for you to speak instead wishing i could be mad, that i could push away from port and blast cannons into your vesel so vessles would implode and you'd leave me alone.

a child chasing away the dog that he can't keep,
                                                                     yelling, screaming,

"get outta here you mutt!
i hate you!
                                                                this isn't your home!"
throwing rocks between tears,
while the canine, confused, plods a trail away, still
in love

with its master.

you cannot have two masters;
you cannot master what you do  not dive into.
you can not converse with out verse,
with empty words
"__________."

and your words are
always
proud. mocking. jesting. empty. lofty. dead.

until
i
       cry.
then, smile, reassurance,
love.
why only comapassion for I?

 where is your heart that you wear it on your sock?

empty, empty, empty
heart.
broken jar and scars smothed with cement.

I am not here to comfort you with presence.

but what else do you want of me? if i were to leave a childs toy,
one of those wetting betsy dolls,
if it were warm,

would you notice my absence?
you two could have a grand time.

what would westsie betsty say?
nothing.
and how would you respond?
"nothing."

match made in heavean.

so i scream,
              in my mind,
              to myself,

                              "go on, get otta here you mutt! momma says you can't stay no more,"
tearing myself to tears,
maybe you'll hear.


you look up,

never knowing what's going on
now
inside my mind.

questioning brow.
i reply,
"nothing"

kiss you good night,
nothing,
and fight every instict i have to love you,
every instinct to hate,
to throw rocks and scream,
"get otta here, momma says you have to go!"
stoning instead my self,
my dobuts,

screaming

"go on, get otta here! you can't stay if i'm going to think straight!"

wasted,
wasted, wasted land.
wasted time
wasted mime.

wasted mine.

nothing, nothing nothing,
i scral, on nargels and book corners and fruit,
nothing nothing nothing nothing.

But the Lord God is everything.
and i will
adore him.