S L I P

I am afraid

of myself.

As egalitarian as
                          we are

I fear
        that you are saving me.


I dreamed a different universe
                                   in which
                                   you did not
                                      exist

but all my turmoil
                             did.

                                    a universe where
                                    he stayed in close quarters
                                    once rejected
                                    (like before)


I don't care what he thinks--
It was hard for me to reject him

It took    s t r e n g t h
                                    and  s e l f  c a r e

(and I am not always good at that).

I fear that the person I am

is the person who would

S L I P

so easily into his possession again

if you were not here (in heart).


                                        There was some peace there
                                         in his embrace.

                                         I am not such a masochist
                                         that I would have stayed otherwise.


but possibly because his presence was so physical
his absence purely in his mental and positive emotional

and you

s e e m             s o              f a r                              away

that the universe my dreams create
is one where self doubt reins.

                                                              if it was't for you,
                                                              would i S L I P ?