Palms

I guess I'm out of practice.
The toughening of skin.

I had done it so much for so long
emotionally
bottling up my thoughts
that would be deemed
stupid
                                     And just letting my body be comfort.

with you
it is the exact

Opposite.

I let my mind flow
one idea, observation, joke to the next
the innards of my mind become as intertwined with yours
as light through a fiber optic.

and I must harden the skin
of my palm.

the itch I feel
to reach out and grasp yours
I forget
is to be subdued.

I was so good before-- before The Gap.
I saw you so often, was so near to you
that I had trained the tingle in my hand to ebb away
the warmth in my thighs to subside
the flush of my face to calm.

the exact
opposite

of how I taught myself to be with him
is how I must relearn

to be with you.

                                     Unless,
                                                 Of course
                                      I learn that is what you have wanted too.