My Mother, Not Di's Mother: correlation of project and life

The book that fell into my hands for this poetry project we have all been subjected found it's way to my fumbling fingers, i do believe,  because of it's title: Mother, Not Mother. And i have to admit the cover was intriguing (we may not be able to judge the books, but we can sure be drawn in by the graphic designer's livelihood).

My mother and I have always been close, both of us questioning what she would do with herself once i was off to college and she was left to find other modes of entertainment besides my melodramatic responses to family going's on. but this past year, as there had been relationship turmoil between my parents and growth in spirituality on my father's part, i began to grow utterly impatient and disgusted with how close minded, and disrespectful she seemed to be. As i disclaimer, i must note that my mother gives and gives of her hands, time, and creativity to the church, library, and home unlike any woman i have ever saw. But i was also once a busy bee that gave of effort but not of heart.

In Di Brandt's book of poems, she expresses frustration of the mother's role in literature and also, it seems, frustrations with her own mother. I found an outlet to deal with the guise my mom seemed to be wearing that did not fit the character i saw of my best friend since childhood. But it also allowed me to appreciate my mother's shortcomings as well, many poems speaking from the persona of the mother as well.

Being a mom is frustrating, not just because of the tasks, but of the "sucking give give give" that comes with the title. When we give to others, we often forget to take care of and prune ourselves. something i discovered happening to me first semester.


We can learn a lot  from the mothers that are absent in literature (according to Di Brandt) about the need of filling needs and how giving is the glue of family, community, and culture. the people who recieve the least amount of praise often do the most work and forget that their hands are praise worthy.

tell your mother thank you, even if she seems annoying at time.